Paper 1 Question 1

 a.) Bolt Pulls an Unexpected Victory


Usain Bolt exclaimed, “How did he do that?!”, as Richard Thompson (the Trinidad and Tobago sprinter) sprinted past everyone else. 

It happened to be a showdown between Olympic sprinters. Richard Thompson came out with a start like nobody had seen in the Olympics. Bolt was a close second, and even as he stumbled, he got right back up. It was obvious that Bolt had the practice and experience. 

Thompson continued to lead, as Bolt followed. Suddenly, Bolt took over the race. It was quite unusual to see Bolt leading the pack, and not Powell (Jamaican team mate and former 100 metres world record holder). Following directly behind Bolt was Thompson, Dix (USA), Churandy Martina (Netherlands Antilles), Burns (Trinidad and Tobago) and Patton (USA). 

Bolt began to gain on 75 meters, and the excitement on his face was noticeable. His hands were thrown in the air, and Bolt became the new Olympic champion. This was an event you would not have wanted to miss. 


b.) Just by the looks of both my newspaper report and the autobiographical extract the structure is very similar. Short paragraphs were used in both, and this was to grab the reader's attention, and keep the reader there. This also makes the text much easier to understand. In a newspaper the audience wants to be able to know what happened quickly, and this is very similar to the autobiography. 

An additional similarity in the structure would be the chronological order used. In the report it was vital for the event to be told chronologically, and this allowed the reader to know how the event played out. (As this is the point of putting it in the newspaper.) In the extract Bolt also wrote in a chronological structure because he is telling his story from beginning to end. 

The biggest difference in the structure were the ways that the extract and report were introduced. In the report I started off with a quote lead in. This gave Bolt a voice, without making it all about him. On the other hand, the extract’s introduction honed in on Bolt’s feelings, even stating, “I talk a lot of trash in my head…”. In the report I used a short quote that connected the beginning events of the race, and this introduced the race to the audience. 

The final difference within the structure is the extract focusing on Bolt’s thoughts, while the report focuses on the actions occurring within the race. In the autobiography Bolt exclaimed, “I could feel me momentum building.” This gives the reader an inside look as to how Bolt is feeling. Anyone at the actual event or reporting the event would not have known how Bolt was feeling, they would just be able to see where he stands in the race. This is reflected in the report. The inclusion of Bolt’s thoughts creates imagery in the extract. It literally allows the reader to feel like they are with Bolt as he is going through the race. 

The point of view is also crucial to look at when considering the form. Within the autobiography Bolt writes in first person. This causes the reader to feel like they are with Bolt during the race, and that they can read his mind. While I wrote the majority of the report in third person. I did this because most sports reports don’t use personal references. I did choose to end the report in the second person using the word “you” because I wanted to directly target the audience. 

A major difference in the form is the use of informative words and emotive words. I aimed my report to be informative, because the reader just wants to know what occurred. In the autobiography the reader is interested in Bolt and his feelings. This contributes heavily to the tone of both of these pieces. This allows the reader to perceive the messages differently. 

Moving on to the language used within both pieces. The most dramatic use of language was used in the autobiography. This was reflected with onomatopoeias. Bolt used words like “Bang!” and “Pow!” to involve the reader's senses. The report did not need this use of language, as it was purely informative to the reader.

 Finally, the most noticeable difference in the language was the extract being written informally and the report being written formally. The extract being written informally brings a lot to the piece because it gives Bolt a voice, and it allows the reader to feel better connected to Bolt. It is also very important for the report ot be formal, so the audience (newspaper readers)knows what happened at the race in a quick and efficient way.


Comments

  1. UR MOMFebruary 7, 2022 at 12:05 PM

    Question 1A would earn 3 marks in AO1 for the response provided. The student includes tone, purpose, and style in the writing but could be more descriptive of the events and their implications. The response is written well but could be more in depth about Usain Bolt and the race specifically. The response would also earn 3 marks in AO2 for clear expression, relevant content, and developed ideas. The summary of events properly describes the events and addresses the audience.

    Question 1b properly compares the students response to the text and compares the way the autobiography and the newspaper appeal to the audiences. The mention of onomatopea is also a good way to compare the language according to the audience. This would earn the response 4 marks in AO1 and 4 marks in AO3.

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    1. Theory BangerFebruary 7, 2022 at 4:59 PM

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    2. Theory BangerFebruary 7, 2022 at 5:29 PM

      Hi Taylor,
      A quick note to start: Usain did not say anything aloud during his race so I would have either changed the word “exclaimed” or clarified that this was internal dialogue. You gave a simplistic overview of the experience, which is report-like, and provided a play-by-play. Also, you clearly referenced characteristic features by mentioning how “the excitement on his face was noticeable.” Besides just stating how he threw his hands up, I would have said how he pounded his chest. I would grade your AO1 as three marks. Moreover, your writing stayed on tasks and effectively communicated the basis of the event. You included multiple examples that added suspense for the readers. I liked how you mentioned Powell as it gives additional background. I would score your AO3 four marks.
      For the second part, question 1(b), you described how both works appeal to the audience. You also used many examples to prove multiple times how your piece compares or contrasts to the piece written by Bolt. In your second to last paragraph, you included, “Bolt used words like “Bang!” and “Pow!” to involve the reader's senses. The report did not need this use of language, as it was purely informative to the reader.” This perfectly exhibits how the different styles of writing have different needs and cannot always include the same text. I would award you four marks for your AO1 and eight marks for your AO3.
      Sommar K

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